Never assume, you'll just make and ass out of you and me
September 29th 2006 01:56
“Never assume, you’ll make an ass out of you and me” - apparently made famous by an episode of The Odd Couple aired in 1973 (see http://listserv.linguistlist.org/cgi-bin/wa?A2=ind0405b&L=ads-l&P=7605)
Not long ago I was playing a game of oztag, and we came up against the lowest ranked side in the comp. It was easy to see why; they only had six players (the standard is eight). Having had some early season success, we thought this would be an easy win, and we went out there to try some new things, with the goal, of course, of hammering them. A funny thing happened, though – we lost the game. We took them too lightly, or in other words, we assumed that they would suck. “Never assume”, some might say, “you’ll just make an ass out of you and me”. I understand the spirit of this saying.. What it’s trying to suggest is, in a performance or task, leave no stone unturned. Do not take anything for granted, in our oztag team’s case, the victory.
Philosophically, however, taken literally, I think its rubbish – every action we make, even our thoughts, are and always will be based on at least one assumption; they have to be, otherwise they wouldn’t exist. When I kick a football, I assume that the ball will not burst before I drop it. I assume that gravity will do its job in letting the ball drop to my foot. These are physical assumptions, but there are plenty of social assumptions too: if I kick the ball to my mate I assume he’s going to attempt to catch it. If he doesn’t, and it hits him on the head, that’s funny. So there’s one advantage in assuming: it allows for surprise.
Another, more obvious advantage in assuming is that it is the prerequisite for action. Hamlet, from Shakespeare’s play of the same name, procrastinated and was a “coward” only because of his refusal to make an assumption. Had he assumed that the ghost he saw was real, and telling the truth, then he could have acted without hesitation. But he didn’t, he couldn’t. He wouldn’t accept the premise as true, and in logic, you have to assume the premise is true if you want to get to a conclusion. As I’m writing this, I am assuming that people will read it. I assume that those readers speak English, and are familiar with Hamlet. If I cease to assume these simple premises, then my writing will be noticeably different. I may even stop writing. If I question each and every assumption that I possess, then I’ll probably go mad.
In Tom Stoppard’s fantastic play Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, inextricably linked to Hamlet, we come across this dialogue between the flustered Guildenstern and the worldly-wise Player:
Guildenstern: We only know what we’re told, and that’s little enough. And for all we know it isn’t even true.
Player: For all anyone knows, nothing is. Everything has to be taken on trust; truth is only that which is taken to be true. It’s the currency of living. There may be nothing behind it, but it doesn’t make any difference so long as it is honoured. One acts on assumptions. What do you assume?
Makes sense to me.
Next article: I will expand on this theme of assumptions, with a very famous quote about a butterfly.
Not long ago I was playing a game of oztag, and we came up against the lowest ranked side in the comp. It was easy to see why; they only had six players (the standard is eight). Having had some early season success, we thought this would be an easy win, and we went out there to try some new things, with the goal, of course, of hammering them. A funny thing happened, though – we lost the game. We took them too lightly, or in other words, we assumed that they would suck. “Never assume”, some might say, “you’ll just make an ass out of you and me”. I understand the spirit of this saying.. What it’s trying to suggest is, in a performance or task, leave no stone unturned. Do not take anything for granted, in our oztag team’s case, the victory.
Philosophically, however, taken literally, I think its rubbish – every action we make, even our thoughts, are and always will be based on at least one assumption; they have to be, otherwise they wouldn’t exist. When I kick a football, I assume that the ball will not burst before I drop it. I assume that gravity will do its job in letting the ball drop to my foot. These are physical assumptions, but there are plenty of social assumptions too: if I kick the ball to my mate I assume he’s going to attempt to catch it. If he doesn’t, and it hits him on the head, that’s funny. So there’s one advantage in assuming: it allows for surprise.
Another, more obvious advantage in assuming is that it is the prerequisite for action. Hamlet, from Shakespeare’s play of the same name, procrastinated and was a “coward” only because of his refusal to make an assumption. Had he assumed that the ghost he saw was real, and telling the truth, then he could have acted without hesitation. But he didn’t, he couldn’t. He wouldn’t accept the premise as true, and in logic, you have to assume the premise is true if you want to get to a conclusion. As I’m writing this, I am assuming that people will read it. I assume that those readers speak English, and are familiar with Hamlet. If I cease to assume these simple premises, then my writing will be noticeably different. I may even stop writing. If I question each and every assumption that I possess, then I’ll probably go mad.
In Tom Stoppard’s fantastic play Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, inextricably linked to Hamlet, we come across this dialogue between the flustered Guildenstern and the worldly-wise Player:
Guildenstern: We only know what we’re told, and that’s little enough. And for all we know it isn’t even true.
Player: For all anyone knows, nothing is. Everything has to be taken on trust; truth is only that which is taken to be true. It’s the currency of living. There may be nothing behind it, but it doesn’t make any difference so long as it is honoured. One acts on assumptions. What do you assume?
Makes sense to me.
Next article: I will expand on this theme of assumptions, with a very famous quote about a butterfly.
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